pants.jpgbUGLYbLOG’s recommended places to punch someone if they cut you in line at the local BestBuy

1) In the breadbasket. In the event you get arrested, be sure to use the term “breadbasket” in your written statement.

2) In the neck. If I could go back in time, like way back, I’m talking second grade here, I would punch the first kid in the neck who gave me crap about wearing generic parachute pants (They were made by Panasonic…..yep, the same Panasonic that makes crappy electronics made my parachute pants.) Anyway, I think it would be cool to be known as a neck puncher. I bet it would have improved my draft position in kick ball games……

Captain of the first team: I’ll take Wanda

Captain of the second team: Okay, I’ll take the Neck Puncher

3) In the coconuts. To be honest, I have never been a fan of the coconut puncher. Most of the time I was the one getting punched in the coconuts. I think the worst time I ever got punched in the coconuts was in third grade. I was walking to the water fountain and Scott (no clue what his last name was, but I’m pretty sure his dad was also his great uncle) socked me in the juju beans (synonym for coconuts). It wasn’t pleasant to say the least. Even more displeasing than getting punched in the gorgonzola’s (another synonym for coconuts) was explaining to my female teacher, Mrs. Bowers, why I was hunched over crying while holding my bumbo’s (synonym numero tres for coconuts)

bUGLYbLOG’s recommended tunes fo the week, fool

Public Enemy’s How You Sell Soul to Soulless People Who Sold Their Soul- Chuck Dangerous is back again with another hit record. Sure, this one ain’t Fear of a Black Planet or It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, but as always Chuck has made another record that’s timely and relevant. And the beats are still there. Check out “Harder tha you think”, “Can you hear me now”, and the albums title track.

“YOU DONT STAND FOR SOMETHING,YOU FALL FOR ANYTHING,
HARDER THAN YOU THINK, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING”

Pilot Speed’s Into the West- I recently went and saw the new Kevin Bacon “Death Sentence” movie. It sucked, but the soundtrack was pretty cool. Anyway, Pilot Speed is one of the featured artists on the soundtrack. They sound like Coldplay and/or Snow Patrol and the lead singer is a dead ringer for U2’s Bono (albeit with a slight lisp). If you can iTunes it, listen to “Barely Listening”, “Alright”, and “Ambulance”. The Black Angel’s are also on the soundtrack. I will probably give them a listen later this week, as long as I don’t get covered up with punching people in the neck.

bUGLYbLOG’s recommended pants comments for the week

1) Anyday you have to wear pants is a bad day. I think this is my new motto. I need to win the lottery. My promise to you is that I will never wear pants again if I win the lottery (except for the occassional funeral or when I want to go shirtless).

2) The next time I get a call from a phone sales dude or dudette, I am going to break in this new routine. Here’s how its going to go….

Telemarketer: Hi, are you interested in blah blah blah

Me: Guess why I’m not wearing shoes?

Telemarketer: I dunno, why?

Me: Cause I had to remove them so I could take off my pants. (After this comment I will remain silent until they hang up)