In leiu of last months hurricane Katrina disaster, President Bush contacted French President Jacques Chirac earlier today requesting a refund for the 1803 purchase of Louisiana. Chirac, known as a stern negotiator, advised that without a receipt France could only offer gift certificates of unspecified amounts for Michelin tires.

In related news, Spains National Assembley formed a special committee last week to review the Treaty of San Ildefonso in preparation for any possible French shifting of liability for the disaster.