I am part of the two person ping pong league that meets weekly in my basement. It is the premier ping pong league within the 37922 zip code. I have nominated myself for player of the year this year. My counter part, lets call him David Kwasnoski (completely made up of course), is the other player in the league. I am nominating him as runner up to the player of the year.

Last week David fired two shots that missed the table completely and proceeded to tag me in the johnson. I believe this is the worst shot in ping pong. This is because even though I won the point, I feel like a jackass. I believe David does it on purpose because he points and laughs everytime he successfully executes the shot. I hope that when the day comes, the voters for our ping pong league’s hall of fame take into consideration his shanninigans when they consider whether or not he should be inducted.

Tonights soundtrack: Sparta - Porcelain
Tonights standard ping ping victor: Velvet Mantis
Tonights left handed victor: David Kwasnoski
Tonights wall pong victor: David Kwasnoski