bUGLYbLOG

Last Wednesday I was talking to Ronaldo during our weekly ping-pong match in my basement and I was like “Dude, whats the deal? You’re playing like crap and to be honest, you’ve kinda turned into a fatass. And whats the deal with that performance you apparently mailed in against Croatia. All I’m saying is look alive out there and skip the double whoppers on game day.” Anyway, he was kinda pissed, but we’ve been buds for a while, so he didn’t go coconut’s or anything. At this point though I thought I mighta hurt his feelings a bit so I says, Ronaldo, if you win this game I will run through my neighborhood in just my Buck Rogers underoos. Now, I was prepared to do it because I wanted to cheer my buddy up and hell, he had a game against Japan in a couple days. He laughed and we got the match on. However, depsite all my efforts, I could not throw the game. Bottom line, Ronalda sucks at ping-pong. I have a feeling that if Nike knew this before the 2000 Worldcup, they never woulda put that big dollar endorsement package together for him. Anyway, he sucks. How many times can a dude serve it into the net? How can a guy with such awesome worldclass footwork be so unskilled with his arms and hands? Its like I was playing a guy with prosthetic arms. He couldn’t volley to save his life. Good thing hes a soccer player..Anyway, back to the story. When the bet was made, I said - knowing of course I was going to throw the game - that if I won, he would have to score two goals against Japan. Well folks, the rest is history.

P.S. Member of Ronaldos family - please, please, do not get the dude any kind of wood working tools, ever.