bUGLYbLOG

My new Van slip-ons came in the mail today. Vans are the bugly certified summer shoe. For the last five years I have purchased a pair at the beginning of each summer. The Choco Chips now join the Velvet Fogs, Spicolis, Buffets, and the Red Riding Hoods. They are cool, comfortable, and made right here in the good ole USA, errr, I mean China.

I am part of the two person ping pong league that meets weekly in my basement. It is the premier ping pong league within the 37922 zip code. I have nominated myself for player of the year this year. My counter part, lets call him David Kwasnoski (completely made up of course), is the other player in the league. I am nominating him as runner up to the player of the year.

Last week David fired two shots that missed the table completely and proceeded to tag me in the johnson. I believe this is the worst shot in ping pong. This is because even though I won the point, I feel like a jackass. I believe David does it on purpose because he points and laughs everytime he successfully executes the shot. I hope that when the day comes, the voters for our ping pong league’s hall of fame take into consideration his shanninigans when they consider whether or not he should be inducted.

Tonights soundtrack: Sparta - Porcelain
Tonights standard ping ping victor: Velvet Mantis
Tonights left handed victor: David Kwasnoski
Tonights wall pong victor: David Kwasnoski

I’ve moved to wordpress. It’s not that I did’nt like moveabletype, its just I got bored. Customization to take place over the next few days….
velvet

Not to be outdone by Ford and Chrysler’s recent success in re-releasing models previously retired, Chevy is going to bring back the 1977 classic cargo van. Details are still emerging, but early word has it that it will either be called the Chevy Pervert or the Kidnap Cargo Van. Dealers will be required to conduct a full background investigation on all potential buyers.

I have a real knack for writing childrens stories. This is one I plan to submit to the Little Golden Books publishing company. “Todd and the Space People” One night while looking out his bedroom window, Todd saw a small blue spaceship land in the woods behind his house. Immediatley Todd got up and decided he wanted to go get a closer look. Figuring that a long trip would make anyone hungry, Todd gathered some food from the kitchen cupboard to bring to the space people. He put one jar of peanut butter, one jar of jelly, and a loaf of bread in a paper bag and ran out the back door and into the woods. Todd slowly walked up to the small blue spaceship so as not to scare the space people. Once Todd got close to the door on the spaceship, it opened and three strange creatures came out. The strange creatures were like nothing Todd had ever seen. They were yellow and had three legs, one arm, and their heads were square with an eye in the middle. The tall one had a red eye, the short one had a brown eye, and the middle one had a black eye. The tall one reached out and shook Todd’s hand while the other two unloaded a few items from the space ship. Todd was really happy when the space people began to sing and dance. Upon hearing all the noise from the woods, many of Todd’s neighbors became scared. Several of the men got together and decided to go and see what was causing the raucous . Todd saw the men approaching the space people. He could tell they were angry and scared. The space people stopped singing and dancing because they were also terribly frightened. Todd explained to his neighbors that the space people were harmless. At that moment the space people began to sing and dance again. Todd’s neighbors joined in the fun too! After several hours of singing and dancing, one by one Todd’s neighbors left until he was once again alone with the space people. “What a night I’ve had” Todd thought to himself. Todd then prepared to say his goodbyes. Todd told the space people goodnight and wished them a a safe journey back home. As Todd turned to walk away, the tall one grabbed his hand while the other two grabbed his legs. The space people then barbecued Todd. The short one made a handbag out of skin taken from Todd’s Torso. The End.

It’s March 31, 2005 and I am issuing a challenge to all the fifty nifty. You want some, you get some. So here it is. I am going to play and defeat someone in every state in the great sport of table tennis (ping pong to you knuckle heads). So, bring it on. I am accepting all challengers. So step up or get back in the kiddy pool. A lotta ya might have heard of me..If not, you’re gonna after I woop you a couple of times (big ups to Mr. Bean).

Like gravy to potatoes, Luke to Darth Vader, I’m a souped up sucker and I’ll see you all later..