First it was Roy Jones Jr.. Just as he graced the cover of EA Sports Fight Night 2004, Tarver made him grace the canvas for the first time in his career (2nd round K.O.). Then just 3 months later Glen Johnson helped him repeat the feat (9th round K.O.). Roy was 49-1 when EA released Fight Night 2004, with his only loss being a DQ as a result of him hitting a guy while he was down - a fight he was winning on every scorecard. Now he’s 49-3. Fast forward to this March as Bernard Hopkins, the Executioner, becomes the new coverboy for Fight Night Round 2. What happens? He loses for the first time in over 20 title defenses. Hopkins hadn’t lost since May of 1993 (to none other than Roy Jones Jr.).
That’s bad Karma..
Rug Doctor flat out rules! I recently sent Rug Doctor an email commenting on excellent performance of their Rug Doctor product. I have to admit, my letter was in jest and heavily influenced by the “Letters from a Nut” creator Ted L. Nancy (http://www.tednancy.com/). If you haven’t heard of Ted Nancy, please visit his site or pick up one of his two “Letters from a Nut” books. They are pretty much the funniest books ever - however my mom’s high school year book comes in a close second. Anyway, click the button below for the emails I sent and received from the Rug Doctor Folks. Bottomline, their product rules and they even sent me a free tshirt - image to be posted soon.
After years of frustration, it appears the American Dental Association (ADA) has finally made some headway in the fight against cavities. A once unthinkable arrangement has formed between the ADA and Nestle foods. Per the agreement, this Halloween Nestle will not only stock supermarkets with Kit Kats, Smarties, and Milky Bars, but also Rectos. Rectos, developed by the Nestle Rolos division, is the first candy to be produced in suppository form. Nestle believes that Rectos will be appealing to parents who want their children to experience the fun of Halloween, but not at the expense of dental damage due to the egregious amounts of candy consumption typically found during the holiday.
It is a little known fact, but before King Kong went down in history as the monster who caused havoc atop the Empire State Building, he was regarded as a pretty damn good ping pong player. Using a modified pen holder grip and breathtaking footwork, Kong was known for his devastating chop shots and almost unreturnable smashes. Prior to the now famous incident in New York, Kong was making strides in the ITTF (International Table Tennis Federation) circuit and as a young primate once reached the World Junior Championships. Although unsubstantiated, rumor has it that the Japanese, feeling their table tennis world domination was being threatened by Kong, enlisted the help of Godzilla to knock King Kong out of international competition for good. Even though Godzilla was defeated handily, Kong suffered a wrist injury in the duel which after a few semi successful tournaments and countless hours of physical therapy, ultimately forced him out of table tennis. 
Following the success of their popular poppymint line of restroom snacks, SweatPea Candies announced today that they will soon be offering an entry level product. The product, which will be marketed under the name “Headnuts”, is an inexpensive, maintenance free, restroom snack targeting the small business owner. Teddy Davis, president of SweatPea Candies, seemed extremely excited about the new product line during a recent interview with Janitorial magazine. “We realized that in this tight economy, our budget minded customers were forced to choose between stocking their bathrooms with our delicious restroom snacks and paper for the fax machine. Frankly, that made me sick. If the American small business owner can’t afford to offer their bathroom patrons pre-unwrapped candies, then what’s next, no toilet paper as well? We at SweetPea Candies knew we could do something? Thats why we are proud to introduce the Headnuts product line.” 
To the left you will see pictures of Chewbacca taken roughly 7 months apart. On the far left you will see the before photo of what most of his friends call the good ole normal Chewbacca paling around with buddy Luke (Luke edited out of picture at action figures request). On the right is a more recent picture of the noticeably bigger Chewbacca equipped with significantly larger biceps and quads. Although most have shown concern over the wookie action figures suspected steroid use, Princess Leia, Padme Amidala, and Lando Calrissian seemed quite smitten with the new “sexier” Chewbacca.
In documents released this morning from the United States bankruptcy court in Myrtle Beach, the super-hero known as Aquaman has filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy protection. Aquaman cited a number of financial and personal setbacks that led to the filing. Aquaman was suspended from the justice league in 1989 after several members criticized his mishandling of the Exxon Valdez oil spill. He was expelled just six months later after a Carnival Cruise ship picked up a significantly intoxicated Aquaman off the coast of Cuba. Then in 1998 Aqua-man lost the support of his most loyal companions, the ocean creatures, after signing a deal with Hormell foods to endorse “Seahorse Jerky - the Beef Jerky of the Sea”. Currently Aquaman is working as a bus driver for the Myrtle Beach Metro Transit Authority.
Colodonk, the worlds premier manufacturer of commercial bathroom products, will introduce the new “Smart Can” seat at this November’s annual Plumbers First convention in Bristol Tennessee. The new “Smart Can” has been tauted as a product that will revolutionize the toilet seat industry, similar to the way the toothbrush changed dental care in the early 1900’s. Although details are still emerging, two features have been released. First, Colodonk has teamed with the folks at the Seally Mattress Company in efforts to make a seat so comfortable that a person could fall asleep during a sitting. The second feature, which is sure to please those who utilize public restrooms frequently, is a small liquid crystal display which can be found directly in the bend of the horseshoe shaped seat. The display, not unlike the odometer on a automobile, will tally the number of patrons that sit down on the toilet seat. The LCD, as seen in the image above, will provide both total and daily numbers of visitors (daily totals reset every 24 hours). Reese Conger, president of Colodonk, sees this as a major improvement to the current products available today. During a meeting with shareholders Reese explained the benefits of the new LCD feature - “Imagine its 4:30 and you can’t decide if you want to go at work or wait till you make it home. Its as easy as checking the display and deciding if its in your best interest to be the 139th patron thats visited this particular seat today. Its a scary world with scary germs and we want out customers to have all the information before they make that non refundable deposit.” There was no comment on whether or not the “Smart Can” would have rollback protection. 
It is widely accepted that the Etruscan civilization was the most mighty in Italy prior to the rise of Rome. The Etruscans were recognized as a strong maritime power whose conquests lead to the establishment of colonies in Corsica, Elba, Sardinia, and Carthage. Additionally, the Etruscan people have been credited with being scholars, expert potters and master craftsmen. Although most of what we know about the Etruscans was published in the 1970’s, more information was uncovered last month during a dig in Tuscany. The picture above, which was found in cache of artifacts, has sparked renewed interest in the field of anthropology concerning the contributions of early Etruscans. Dr. Dave Levlins, team lead for the Tuscany dig, said “there is no doubt that this is in fact a 7th century B.C. Etruscan playing what appears to be Ping Pong. The low cranial brow and elongated arms were common traits found in Etruscan men.” 
SweatPea Candies of Oliver Springs, Tennessee will be installing their new “PoppyMint” line of products in restrooms throughout the South this coming fall. Looking to capitalize on an untapped niche market, SweatPea Candies will install “chips and salsa” baskets in over 8,000 public restrooms directly above the toilet paper dispensers (image forthcoming). Company president Teddy Davis says their goal of first to market in the restroom snackfood industry is almost a reality. SweatPea Candies isn’t going to stop there because in the 1st quarter of 2004 they will introduce an unwrapped chocolate candies bin that will be installed directly above the flush lever that accompanies most mens stand-up urinals. “We know theres already enough to worry about with the zipping, unzipping, and positioning men have to do when using the stand up urinal, and we don’t want to have our customers worrying about unwrapping a piece of candy too–we want them to just dig right in and get a handful”, marketing director Joel Toasten said while defending the decision to have the snacks pre-unwrapped.
