So I finally built one of them there cigar box guitars. I’m not much of a handyman and I am not sure what most of the tools are even called that I used, but here is my creation. First and foremost, I want to thank Ivan for the destructions over at cigarboxguitars.com. I won’t say I followed his plans exactly, but they really helped me get going on this project. Here is a picture of the neck. I used nails with their heads and tails trimmed off. Here is a picture of the beast in all its glory - you can barely see the input jack, but it’s there - its electric. I’m hopin I can learn some Iron Maiden on it so I can rock out my employers xmas party. I can picture myself blazin a little “2 Minutes to Midnight” or “Aces High” on this bad boy. Oh well, thats all I got.
“Have we got an army, we’ll teach ya how to act like a man…”
I ate at the Cracker Barrel for lunch today. It is my opinion that no matter the location, the food at the Barrel will taste the same, and for me its always good. I am a breakfast kinda person. I always get something with eggs, bacon, and of course, some of the hashbrown caserole. I have one issue with the Barrel though and it concerns the pay process. I am a debit card user by nature, I rarely carry cash. The problem is that you eat in their dining area but pay outside in the gift shop. Therefore, because I carry no cash, I fear that my waiter or waitress will think that I’ve stiffed them even though I always leave a tip at the register (tacked onto the debit receipt). It doesn’t end there. As I leave I worry that later that day or week the waiter or waitress will see me out somewhere and cut my tires or key my car to pay me back for my perceived lacked of genorosity. I am also scared of the old people that eat there. 
I have seen the future my friends, I have seen the future. You can forget your griddle cakes delivered with lemonade smiles. You can say goodbye to your Dutch Mantells and the Dirty White Boys. And there ain’t no more Thrifty Nickel. Its all damn robots and Walmarts. I was at the grocery store this weekend and decided to use the future - the self scan. Tell me this my friend, what the hell is the guy at the self scan good for? Something tells me his job isn’t to walk around, look like a jackass, and hassle the baggers. But that apparently is what he does. Where was the self scan guy when my Capn Crunch wouldn’t ring up? He was playin grab ass with the grand marshall of the buggy parade. I woulda been there all day if I wanted to pay with a check, or wanted to buy some chaw. The future can keep their false promises and R2dipsh1t$ and I’ll keep biting my tongue every time joe “rookie debit card user” has a brain freeze while entering his PIN. 
