bUGLYbLOG

Well, proofs in the pudding. As you can see I am now atop the misspelled Matthew Mconahey search rankings once again. I am numero uno with Google
, Yahoo, and Excite
. As there is nothing left for me to do in this competitive realm, I’ve decided to retire. Just like Barry Sanders, Jim Brown, and my uncle Lester, I am going to leave while I’m on top. Besides, I gotta be honest, the last picture of Matthew Mconahey was driving some weird traffic to my site.

I’ve sunk to a new low. I too want to be the top Google entry for the misspelled Matthew Mconahey search. I am ashamed and embarrassed - similar to how Matthew Mconahey felt after posing for this picture. I don’t think David Wooderson or Ed Pekurny woulda posed for this. Right Said Fred, maybe, but not David Wooderson. Anyway, I’m not proud of this, nor am I proud of what started it. And I am definitely not proud of this (Teddy from Just-Teddy.com with no shirt on). And I most certainly won’t be happy about this (excert from CaptainDudes Blog ):

P.S. Should this disgusting turn of events cause me to remove my shirt I will call upon the photographic talents of the VelvetMantis. This should ensure which way he votes.

Sorry, I just threw up. Oh well, it is on. (I just threw up one more time as a result of using that phrase). As Mconahey said in some movie about something, “No computer, no gadget, no trickery. I am an animal, it is a plant. I will beat the weed!”. Teddy and the Dude, you guys are the weeds. It is important to note that just by participating in this crap, I am reminded of another Mconahey quote. “I thought this was a great story about a winner who starts losing” - Its safe to say that whoever wins this may also lose….

Gritfoot (grit ‘ foot’) - 1. A member of the yeti family which is predominantly found in the Southern United States. Also see gritfeet.

Clint came over this past Wednesday to play a little pong and I gotta tell ya, he’s quite a character. Before each serve he would say crap like “Do you feel lucky punk?” or “Go ahead, make my day”. Hell, one time he said something like “Cassius from bondage will deliver Cassius”, which I had no idea what he meant or how it was applicable to our table tennis match. Oh well, the dudes like 95 so you gotta just let some of that crap slide. Anyway, we were ponging to determine who served first and I gotta say, Clint was being a real jackass. Everytime I would start it up, at G he would unload on the ball and come no where close to hitting my side of the table. In fact, during a stretch of three attempts at pong he hit me in the johnson twice and knocked over my Dr. Pepper the third time. Finally, I was like “dude, go ahead and serve first, its not that big of deal”. To that Clint again said some crap that didn’t make any sense at all. It was something like, “Nothing wrong with shooting…as long as the right people get shot”. So we finally get the game going and he immediatley wins the first point off one of those edge shots that happen once every four or five games and is virtually impossible to return. A skill-less luck shot in its purest form. Anyway, Clint takes his paddle and twirls it around, blows on the handle, and puts it in his pocket like it was a six shooter. All of this I could handle, but then he spit on my dog. So then we get into it a bit and I’ll be honest, he scared me just a little. I mean, this was Dirty Harry I was argueing with. But within a few minutes it got personal. He asked “what kinda loser has a ping pong outfit” to which I replied “what the hell was Bridges Over Madison County”. He then said he “outta kick my teeth in” to which I questioned if he “got an Oscar for Space Cowboys”. Finally, as our fracas was about to reach the point of no return, a familiar song began to play on the tv in the back corner of my basement. It was the freakin intro to Fraggle Rock. Apparently Clint, like me, is a fan of Fraggle Rock. Immediately our tempers calmed and we sat down and watched the one where Boober loses his hat. It was pretty darn cool. Who knew Clint was a fan of the Rock? Even though I thought Clints favorite, Gobo, was lame, I kept quiet. Honestly, Gobo is no Wembley, he’s not even a Red, but I figured I would table that discussion with Clint for another day.

I love football, I do. My fall weekends begin with seeing high school football on Friday night, going to Vol football games on Saturday, and watching my Raiders on Sunday. I am a fan. However, its safe to say I would rather mow my yard than play EA Sports new Head Coach football game. I can’t see that this would be fun in the slightest. Here are five things that I think would be more fun than playing this game:

1) Play EA Sports Arena Football - this game sucks to the tenth power. Whoever thought about making a game where the linebacker gets penalized if he leaves a slittle square is an idiot (An idiot who suckered me outta 20 bucks).

2) Watch my neighbors dog walk around his yard with one of those lampshade collars on. I think they actually look more like those amplifiers on old record players. I once knew a dude who..sorry, I digress…

3) Stick coins in my nostrils.

4) Use 39 one cent stamps on my cable bill.

5) Hear about my buddy Captain Dudes recent haircut.

Here are five games I would like to see EA release in the near future:

1) Golf Caddy 2007

2) Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Simulator

3) Cornhole Cage Match - Not the office space reference - check out www.playcornhole.org (maybe suitable for work, maybe not - live a little, take a chance, you know you want to………weirdo)

4) Wiffle Ball Streets - I actually want this game. I pretty much rule at Wiffle Ball. I think its safe to say that I am as good at Wiffle Ball as my friend Teddy is at eating.

5) NCAA Womens Lacross